Feeling this one, as it relates to my day to day experiences… From one of Michael Brown’s free article “Experiencing Death Daily” @ http://www.thepresenceportal.com/Aritcles%203%20-%20Experiencing%20Death%20Daily.htm
THE PRESENCE PROCESS is designed to facilitate us to make these adjustments energetically; to die consciously to the past and future in each moment so that we can live fully and authentically in the present. Yet, we do not only have to be involved in the intricacies of a procedure like THE PRESENCE PROCESS to practice dying consciously each day; whenever we are triggered emotionally we are being asked to die consciously to something – we are being asked to die consciously to what we have unconsciously brought into this moment from our past, and to what we are unconsciously projecting from our past into our future.
Let us unmask the experience called death. This is what it is like to be confronted by death:
An event (often trivial) causes us suddenly, and without control, to enter an exaggerated state of emotional, mental, and physical discomfort. The trigger causing this often appears to us as an outer physical circumstance, an activity, or a person’s behavior. It is however being caused by a point in our emotional body that is resistant to a shift currently taking place in our vibrational body. It is an internal experience that is being reflected outwardly. Because we lack emotional body awareness, and have limited insight, we witness this occurrence “out-sight”.
We subsequently experience a dramatic shift in consciousness. We immediately begin losing awareness, as if our perception of the world is shutting down and becoming distorted into selective tunnel vision. Dizziness and nausea become evident.
We experience escalating physical, mental, and emotional discomfort, and increasingly enter fight or flight mentality.
Our mood suddenly changes unpredictably like a flag being blown about by a shifting gust. We feel a sense of “crashing inwards” and it becomes impossible to think clearly.
The physical world appears to become duller, flattened, and almost two-dimensional. We lose our ability to be fully aware of what is happening around us.
Our thoughts race – we begin telling stories, plucking at accusations, excuses, and justifications. These stories are told by a voice ranting in our head. If we pay careful attention we realize this is the voice of us at a younger age; an emotionally immature part of us. There is no foundation for the stories told by this inner voice in the present moment, yet we desperately attach them to our present experience, cling to them as gospel-truth, like a frightened child clasping a teddy bear or a doll.
We begin acting outwardly from the point of view of the story we are telling ourselves. This behavior adds chaos and confusion to the moment. It brings pain and hurt to anyone we include in any of our verbal utterances. Within this projected confusion there is a swirling energetic mist of fear, anger, and grief. All accusations we make add to the level of the unconsciousness we are radiating. Any decision made from within this unconscious experience is destructive, reactive, and does not serve us in any way; these decisions are frantic reactions, like a delirious fighter thrashing at the air.
While in this state what we cannot perceive is that nothing real is actually happening. No matter how real these erupting past reflections appear to us, and no matter how intently we project them upon the world around us, our entire internal experience is just that: An unintegrated past experience being reflected outwardly upon the screen of the present moment.
The hardest action to take in the midst of this death experience is to embrace the truth. (The truth shall set us free.) Embracing the truth means admitting that our perception of the triggering event is unfounded, faulty, inaccurate, and that our subsequent behavior is unwarranted. To make such an admission is to die to the story we are telling ourselves. The moment we admit this, the moment we speak the truth (internally or externally), the story dies, we are reborn into the moment and set free of the triggering illusion.
When we die to whatever past experience we are clutching onto we awaken into a more heightened state of consciousness. When we do not, our behavior leads us into deeper and deeper states of unconsciousness. Complete resistance leads us into finding a means to once again sedate and control the awareness of this surfacing illusion so that we may continue our life experience being unconscious about it.
Once we integrate the experience, choose to change, and therefore to die to the story, the illusion of it all becomes obvious to a point of humor. We see that what triggered us is nothing but a shadow of a past incident casting itself upon the light of the present moment. Once we apologize (if necessary) and laugh at ourselves, we have “let go” and returned with a greater sense of awareness into the embrace of life.”
From the moment we are emotionally triggered in this manner we enter the ghostly hallways of the past, or more accurately, we bring the past into the present moment and use it to project phantom impressions into the future. In other words, that which is dead, but which we have been breathing an illusionary experience of life into, is being presented to us for integration; we are being confronted by an illusion that we now have to die to. Such an experience, if we can remain conscious within it, is a great opportunity to practice dying.
Letting go of our story is death.
We as we perceive ourselves to be are a story written by our mental body based upon blockages within our emotional body; a story that is not true and that has no place now.
Living each day with intent to die to that which prevents us from being fully present in our life enables us to develop an ongoing relationship with what death really is. The pain and discomfort we go through when triggered unexpectedly is death coming and offering us an opportunity to birth a deeper relationship with life. All we are required to do is let the experience in. Allow it. By feeling the depths of our pain and discomfort when emotionally triggered, by letting go of the accompanying story, by not acting out the fear, anger, and grief these triggers uncover, we are choosing to die consciously. As each of these death experiences pass through our awareness we become more available and sensitive to what life is. The more we practice dying daily to the past, the more our traditional fear of death subsides. Our traditional concept of death, the one we have been conditioned to run from, then recedes like an outgoing tide. Consequently, we no longer make decisions based on fighting it back or trying to evade or delay it.
The more we allow ourselves to feel everything, to feel the seeming discomfort of the energetic transformation taking place in our midst, the more comfortable we become. It is a strange paradox; evolution dictates that strange is to become the new familiar, and weird the new normal. It is not a case of “getting over my issues so that I can be happy”. It is also not a case of attending to a spiritual practice so that “I can permanently enter a state of Nirvana”. These are delusional intents, distractions, and usually unconscious escape routes from having to live consciously. Such intents set up unrealistic expectations and cultivate destination-consciousness.”